Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Empathy




How do you teach it? 
I understand that 2 year olds are self centered by nature and that soon they begin to realize that there are others in the world, in their life and in their house.  Hannah is starting to get it.  She used to (3 months ago- man, kid phases are FAST!) call Cassie "mean" and not care that Cassie would get her feelings hurt.  I would try to explain how it makes Cassie feel bad when she says mean things, sometimes it can even make her cry.  She'd kind of shrug her shoulders, like "Yeah?  What of it? Wanna see me do it again?"  Now she has progressed to saying "You're mean Mommy, but you're nice."  Huh?  Does this mean that she doesn't want to hurt my feelings or that she knows she gets fussed at for saying people are mean or perhaps she really feels that as far as meanies go, I am a nice one?  This evening Christian accidentally ran into her and knocked her down.  For the rest of the evening she complained about the fact that Christian hurt her feelings.  I think he actually hurt her leg, but maybe that's where she keeps her feelings.  I don't know.  
What if she grows up to be too empathetic? Then she will never put herself first, right?  Maybe she will grow up to be a people pleaser?  Not that I know anything about that.  And when she is 39 she will feel horribly guilty when one day she up and decides to get a massage.  Not that I know anything about that. 
Isn't the lack of empathy a red flag for serial killerness?  How's that for pressure?  The way I interpret this bit of information is that unless I want a little serial killer on my hands it is my duty to teach this emotion.  And to teach it well.  Because, well,  
Failure= (picture my finger moving across my throat)
Do they make flash cards for that?  We all know how well that turned out last time.

4 comments:

RRigdon said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I held my breath until Maddy turned 6, and all the straightfowardness and unedited speech began to melt away like a spring snow...and no one was sorry to see it go...

Natalie said...

What? Did you say SIX? My stupid parenting BOOK said SOON. Soon. I'm going with that.

RRigdon said...

See, but Madeline was being encouraged by her even younger siblings to continue to tell people their breath stank...

Natalie said...

Oh, yes. I still hear from Cassie that my teeth are yellow. Not nice, but a little true.