When Your Christmas Gift is Smarter Than You

My sweet husband got me an iPhone for my birthday. I say sweet, and generally he is very much so, however this gift was actually a cop out. My birthday is also in December so you can understand his pain. He has to think of TWO gifts. On his own. He knew that he could combine holidays with the gift from Apple and call it a day. I immediately went out and bought a hot pink cover for it, because everyone knows that before you learn to use it, you have to look good using it.

These are the things that I know how to do with my phone:

1. Play solitaire
   
2. Use the flashlight
   
3. Record any song and have my phone tell me what song it is and who is singing it (Shazam)
   
4. Make a grocery list that sorts itself by aisle
   
5. Check the weather forecast
   
6. Enter appointments into the calendar
   
7. Enter birthdays and have reminders 2 days in advance to send a card
   
8. Check my email 
   
9. Check my facebook 
   
10. Watch myself driving down the road on a map in my phone
    
11. Buy music and iPhone applications from iTunes
    
12. Set an alarm clock
    
13. Use the calculator and turn it sideways to make it a scientific calculator
14. Check my Barnes & Noble stock
    
15. Organize my clothes by outfit and record which days I wear them so as to never duplicate within the same week
    

These are the things that I can't do so well with my fancy phone (yet):

1. Make phone calls.  My friend, Mary Jo, insists that my phone calls her and breathes heavily.  I think it has a little crush.
   
2. Easily play the music that I purchase on iTunes.
   
3. Quickly input addresses into the map so that I can use the GPS function before I arrive at the desired location.
   
4. Make myself stop playing solitaire so that other tasks might be accomplished.
   
5. Drive to the grocery store to shop for the items my phone so nicely organized for me (see #4)
   
6. Do the laundry so that I don't make the horrible faux pas of repeating an outfit (see #4)
   
7. Make myself get up when the alarm peacefully wakes me up with the sound of bells chiming. (see #4)
8. Be organized enough to buy a card and find stamps to send a birthday card even when my phone yells at me to do it.
9. Text quickly and be certain that I am sending said text to the correct person.
10. Be smart enough to ever need a scientific calculator.

Whatever.  I look good carrying that hot pink fancy thing around.

Hey!  You wanna read something that will make you laugh out loud?  READ THIS!