In a Split Second

Last week a man in this community died. It was a tragic, senseless death of a young father, husband, son and friend. I didn't know this man, Brandon Bradshaw, but like many, I followed his story and sent many, many good wishes to him and to his heartbroken family.

I don't know the details and won't add to the rumors already surrounding his death, but there was a shooting, that much we know. In broad daylight. In Bowling Green, Kentucky. A man, Tommy Brown, husband, father, son and friend shot another. Some say in self defense, some say not. In a split second two men having normal, average days lost everything.

Much outrage has been vocalized about justice, but not by the family. The family has taken to Facebook to express some of their sorrow and their pain. Over and over the father of the victim asked for prayers, not only for his son, but also for the family of the shooter. He knew that they were hurting too.

Mr. Bradshaw's wife relayed the conversation she had with one of her three children; how she answered his most important questions like "Who will you be married to if you aren't married to Daddy?" and "What will we do if someone breaks into our house?" I keep thinking of Mrs. Bradshaw. Right now she is, I'm sure, surrounded by friends and family. But what about the nights? What about the moments when she is alone? The "busyness" of funerals and memorials are distracting; there are pictures to gather and songs to choose and verses to be collected. And that distraction is good. It's the AFTER that is the hardest. After everyone leaves, when you realize that even with your world falling apart, bills still have the nerve to arrive and children have to be fed, and clothes have to be washed- that's when it's the hardest. When you wish that just for a few days the world would stop and LET YOU GRIEVE.

In times like these one feels so helpless. I know I have Pollyanna tendencies, but I can't believe that Mr. Brown started his day believing that he would shoot someone. Just as I'm sure Mr. Bradshaw thought he was going to run a quick errand to the drugstore. Two men, both upstanding citizens, both married with three sons- a life can change so quickly.  And then, because Brandon Bradshaw was an organ donor, eight other people's life were changed in a split second.

The memorial service for Brandon Bradshaw is tonight and so, so many people will attend to support this family and to pay their respects. His children will be proud of their dad, and hopefully all the stories shared will be remembered. Not by the children necessarily, but FOR the children. Because in the future they may slowly forget and they will need those stories to be told again. And again.

And the other family involved, Mr. and Mrs. Brown and their children, they are on my mind as well. I'm sure they are stricken with grief and guilt.  Will people share good stories with them? Will people comfort them? I hope they have support.

So today, I'm sending good thoughts out for both families and their friends. They have all lost so much.