Last Week at the Bookstore

  

1.   It's amazing to me that I have never, ever had a customer tell me that their child is reading below grade level.  When I ask the age of the child to better help them find a book, the customer always says something like, "He is in 2nd grade, but he reads at a 4th grade level."  Occasionally a customer will need a book for someone else's child.  Oddly enough, this child often seems to be reading at a lower level.  That math just doesn't add up.

Today a customer asked me for a book recommendation for her child.  I started with the usual question, "How old is he?"  She replied, "He is 8, but he reads like he is 10."  Of course, he does.  Then she continued to explain his gifted status by saying, "We didn't even know he could read until he started reading a menu the other day."  Oh dear.  Together, the mom and I picked out some Magic Tree House books on subjects that she thought he might like, at the same time she explained to me that she doesn't want to encourage him to read for fear of stressing him out too much.

In my heart I willed this little boy to keep on reading.  I also silently told him that it was o.k. to be an 8 year old that reads at an 8 year old level, and if a menu is all he can get his hands on then go out to eat more!

2.  A man and woman came to customer service and the woman asked me to look up a book for her then walked away.  The man stayed, but didn't know anything about the book and I needed more information to find it, so I needed the woman to come back, but I didn't know how to ask for her.   I couldn't tell if the woman was his wife,  daughter, friend, sister, etc.  So, I said something really stupid like, "Would you mind asking that woman to come back here?"  The gentleman responded, "Do you mean my old lady?"  This is the  first time I have heard a man refer to his wife as his "old lady".  I thought this only happened in sitcoms from the 70's.  I was completely flustered during the whole interaction, but it cracked me up at the same time (not that I EVER want to be called anyone's "old lady".)

3.  This week I told a customer to leave the store.  I knew he had been told this before, but I couldn't remember for what offense.  You see, I thought he was the "bug-eyed bible stealing guy(BEBSG)" but actually he was the "toe licker."  BEBSG had quite a racket going on.  He came in every week or so and took a small bible off the shelf then walked up to the cash register to return it.  At that point we were allowed to give store credit back, so we did, until we finally caught on.  Oh yeah, and his eyes are a little buggy.  The toe-licker?  Well, he is a different story.  He only comes around during sandal season and he pretends to shop on lower shelves in the religion section until he finds a nice pair of feet, then he blows on their toes.  Sometimes he licks them.  Oh yeah, and his eyes are a little buggy.  You can see how I would be confused, I forgot that we were in toe licker season.

4.  While in the restroom the woman in the stall next to me was on her phone.  This happens all the time but it bothers me.  A lot.  I don't like the fact that some random person on the other end could possible hear me tinkle.  But this woman, she went beyond bothersome.  First she announced to the person on the phone that she was in the bathroom, then she sat down and made some *ahem* noises. She proceeded to give the person on the other end of the phone very serious marriage/divorce advice.  Not all multitasking is good.

5.  This week one of my booksellers had to politely explain why the phoenix is not listed in the Field Guide to the Birds of North America, while another bookseller had to explain why we would not be able to find "actual photographs" of dragons.